Movie Review : Assassination Games (2011)

Ordinarily I would tag Jean Claude Van Damme vehicles under Guilty Pleasure. You could watch them and be thoroughly entertained but nothing of the plot would register and the next time you watch the movie, it would feel like the very first time. This amazing repeat-viewability is the hallmark of a generic action movie and Assassination Games harks back to  simpler, happier times. Vintage 90s action movies with their clichéd plots, inane dialogues, one-note characters and innumerable sequels are comfort food for the bored soul and I have often found it to be a very pleasant experience to catch a few minutes of Kickboxer or Universal Soldier or Bloodsport at dinnertime on a weekday and then hop off to sleep, content with the fact that the world is a better place with a super-fit JCVD having saved the day with a slo-mo roundhouse kick.

But I digress. Since JCVD hasn’t visited his roots in a while and since this movie might be his transition into a more peaceful life (NOT RETIREMENT! NEVER! UNACCEPTABLE!) and symbolic of him handing over the mantle to a younger star, I think it is fitting to spend a few minutes and revel in the glow of its mere existence.

Vincent Brazil is an assassin who accepts a contract to kill a drug dealer. He comes across Roland Flint who is also on the bad guy’s trail. Roland has his own baggage and personal score to settle with the bad guys. Both have to team up to get the job done and do.

JCVD is well JCVD, albeit a jaded, rough version. Father Time has not been kind to our beloved star. Gone is the handsome, muscled man with a sparkle in his eye who danced so crazily in a weird Thai bar in Kickboxer. He now has a face that could rival those of the caricatured villains in his earlier movies in scariness. Also missing is the relentless action we had come to expect from him. He doesn’t get into fisticuffs too often and is content with handling guns in this feature.

I have adored Scott Adkins since I watched ‘Ninja’. He is a good looking guy, is trained in the arts and isn’t too terrible at acting – a fairly rare combination. Here he brings more of his one-expression-and-reaction-to-everything goodness to the table. I think Roland is supposed to be American but his British accent stumbles through in moments of excitement. I thought his fighting skills were under-utilized though. He spends too much time in contemplation and in gazing at his comatose wife when he should making mince meat of the penny-a-dozen villains.

Many action film tropes are incorporated here – European setting, fancy weapons, Eurotrash villains with weird accents, eurotrash hooker with weird accent, corrupt secret service agents, unnecessary romantic subplot for JCVD, below average actors on a hamming spree etc etc. However, we watch action movies for their chase and fight sequences and there isn’t nearly enough of that here. The script attempts to get cerebral and intent on examining themes of guilt, revenge and karma – concepts that our leads are woefully ill prepared to handle. The makers should have chucked this out of the window and put in more stunts.

Nothing truly extraordinary and a few years down the line, late night TV might help it become another can of comfort food. But it is a welcome return to form (somewhat) for a movie idol.

Movie Review : Los ojos de Julia / Julia's Eyes (2010)

Twins Julia and Sara suffer from a degenerative eye disease that is slowly turning Julia blind while Sara has already lost all power of sight. Owing to a rift - that is not explained - the twins don't speak to each other any more. Sara is found dead in the basement of her house and an investigation concludes that she committed suicide, unable to come to terms with her blindness. Julia is wracked with grief and burdened with guilt at not being more supportive and understanding of her sibling despite sharing the same condition with her. As she probes a little deeper into the circumstances surrounding her twin's death, Julia becomes increasingly convinced that foul-play is afoot. Even as she gets increasingly paranoid about an 'invisible' man being responsible for her twin's death, Julia is hurtling into danger and she may have to pay the ultimate price to figure out the truth. 

The movie is elegantly filmed. The settings and atmosphere are similar to Belen Rueda's 2007 outing, El Orfanato. Yet where, El Orfanato had a touching storyline and a bit of a nasty ending (don't kill children!), Julia's Eyes is a little more formulaic. The climax and ending are a little disappointing, not really much of a surprise since one can pretty much connect the dots and figure out the ending. However, it is still a solid, original premise and a well made production. 

There are few dull moments and an ever present, unsettling undercurrent of a sinister presence lurking just beyond Julia's field of vision contributing to the moody atmosphere. Julia's husband may not be the kindly, loving man he seems, Sara's neighbors have their own secrets, Sara's support group isn't really all that friendly and most people she encounters are generally weird. We watch many of the scenes through Julia's eyes, literally, and this unique perspective provides a better appreciation of the bleak situation that she is in. 

Belen Rueda is wonderful as Julia. She anchors the movie ably and turns in a fine performance as the grieving, gutsy lead. Lluís Homar as her sceptical yet indulgent husband is excellent and they make for a good pair. Pablo Derqui makes for an unusual antagonist but is adequate as well.

For severely myopic souls (yours truly), this movie is a chilling reminder of how loss of one vital function can constrain our independence, force us to swallow our pride and lay bare all our vulnerabilities for the next opportunist to come along and take advantage of. Julia's desperate struggles to find the courage to adjust to starkly new circumstances are unsettling to watch. Watching her grope around and find her way across a once familiar room, pleading with unfriendly neighbors for help, learning to accept the limits of her sensory functions and learning to trust a stranger who may have his own axe to grind; THAT was the real terror and a source of mild paranoia. 

An interesting thriller. Recommended.

Guilty Pleasure : Madea

Madea/Mabel Simmons is elderly, overweight and poor. She is loud, ladling out advice and opinions all day, often unsolicited. She has no qualms about reaching for the nearest switch to whack the daylights out of mouthy kids, threaten improperly attired, ill mannered teenagers into submission and deliver sharp retorts to anyone that sasses her.  She will not hesitate to drive her car INTO a drive-through to get back at an attendant that won’t attend to her. She handles a machine-gun with ease. You don’t want to mess with her unless you want a pan of hot grits in your face. Even the police tremble when they need to bring her in for questioning.

But trust Madea to find her way out of a sticky situation. She stands by her family, friends and generally anyone in need of some hearty support and outlook on life. You know that she will sell her soul to the devil before letting you down. She quotes the Bible (or at least her own cheerful version of it) yet her firm belief lies more in the ability of the human soul to fix its own problems and less in appealing to God to ‘give me a break’. Madea is a supremely paradoxical character, an unlikely crusader for faith and right against wrong, yet when she stands for the umpteenth time in court before an increasingly despairing judge, we are rooting for her, because her heart is in the right place.

Tyler Perry knows that this is one of his most enduring creations. This is why he has a permanent smile playing on his lips when in character, as his sheer enjoyment bubbles through.

In an insane world that increasingly doesn’t make much sense, a spirited woman who stands up for her beliefs come hail, come sunshine and unconditionally opens her heart and home to those in need is someone we all could use more of. So give us more of this no-nonsense, outlandish, ex-stripper-hooker-criminal granny Tyler Perry. I sure don’t watch your movies to follow pretty people as they travel down paths of self destruction and then tearfully seek to make amends.

Movie Review : The Guard (2011)

I was immensely delayed in watching ‘In Bruges’ (watched it in July this year) and while I didn’t really like the movie all that much, the cultured, warm hearted Ken stayed with me after the movie was done playing. Hence, my interest was piqued when I heard about the Irish film, ‘The Guard’.

This is the sort of movie that must rely on a sharp screenplay and its performances to hold it up as the storyline is probably more suitable for a 30-45 minute TV show. And neither aspect lets us down here.

Sergeant Gerry Boyle, who is disliked by his colleagues for his loud, ‘in-your-face’ attitude, foul mouth and unorthodox approach to his job, notices a spurt in crimes in his district and realizes that an international drug smuggling gang is active right beneath his very nose. He must work with FBI Agent Wendell Everett to catch them red handed. We discover that the offensive Boyle is really just a kindhearted, ethical man who will stop at nothing to bring the criminals to book. That doesn’t mean that he has to stop testing the limits of his peers’ patience.

This is a Brendon Gleeson vehicle all through. Where he was amiable and conscientious in ‘In Bruges’, here he is eccentric and confrontational, yet never letting his aggravating front hint at his thoughtful nature.

Don Cheadle supports the proceedings as the befuddled American trying to do his job and get out of the small Irish town. It is a thankless role that merely serves as a foil for Boyle and he plays along sportingly.

The chameleon-ic Mark Strong has always intrigued me with his ability to play hide-and-seek with the viewer. He has a fairly large body of work and yet one never sees the same character twice. He gives you something different each time and spotting him among the cast-members is invariably a good sign regarding the movie. Here he is a vicious, intellectual smuggler who is patiently waiting to finish the job and get back to London.

Liam Cunningham as the wily head of the criminal gang oozes cunning from every pore. He readily buys out people standing in between him and the prize and the look in his eyes promises much pain and suffering to anyone that doesn’t play by his rules.

The dialogue is sharp and the story moves along quickly. The oddball characters make for a fresh variant of the buddy-cop movie and the cast plays off each other competently.

I didn’t find it hilarious; it is a black comedy after all. But I was entertained all through, which is much more than what can be said of my recent viewings of big budget extravaganzas.

Recommended.

Casual Games - Galaxy Ace

So ya got yourself a Galaxy Ace or an Android phone. Whaddya do with it?

As I mentioned before, it is a wonderful way to kill time especially while waiting and thanks to the Android Market and Amazon Appstore, one has access to a ton of games - games to suit every age, mood and pocket.

Of late I find myself automatically reaching for the Ace during a short wait and fiddling around with games. Here are a few casual yet fun games to while away the time.

Random Mahjong

A nice take on the Mahjong games. The graphics are really sharp and rich and contribute immensely to the overall experience. I need to really squint to figure out the designs on the larger groups of tiles, but a nice feature is that as tiles are removed the remaining tiles grow in size to fit the screen. On a larger screen, it is likely a better experience.  

I wasn’t really able to complete more than 4 levels without losing lives but it is not a frustrating game. There is no timer, no pressure at all and it is a wonderful minute-gobbler.

Solitaire Free Pack

This is really a huge bunch of card games. I have only played the Solitaire and Freecell variants but there are tons more. The layout is simple and uncluttered, the card suits are clearly visible, the games are challenging and really give the brain a little workout. I have been up late into nights trying to beat the game. A very satisfying game in all.

If online, the small strip above the main card dealing area runs ads. This thankfully doesn’t happen in the offline mode.

Checkers

I wasn’t really interested in Checkers before I stumbled onto this app and started trying it out. This is a barebones game without fancy graphics but then you don’t need any for a board game like this one.

I have only played the single player mode and at the easier levels. Sometimes the CPU (the opponent) misses out on rather obvious ‘captures’ but that is more probably due to the lower degree of difficulty of the game. You wouldn’t want to stop in the middle of the game for anything or anyone.

Fruit Ninja

This global phenomenon is a firm family favourite. The Sibling is addicted to this one and hogs the phone trying to beat the scores. Who knew that a no-brainer game based on slicing various fruit could be so much fun? Well it is and the craze is unlikely to die giving how wonderful the overall experience is. Slicing the fruit and listening to the ‘sploosh’ and ‘squish’ is strangely very soothing.

The Sibling went upto a high score of 530 in arcade mode while yours truly managed a barely respectable 360. Of course the high scores completely depend on the ‘bananas’ generated and flung across the screen by the game. But it has tremendous replay value and on a bigger screen, 2-3 kids can easily mess around trying to cut fruit simultaneously.

These games should run on almost any Android phone. So get yourself to the Market and treat yourself to some games.